Morning scare
Mar. 29th, 2004 09:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badseed1980Note to self: if you're going to do something scary, don't do it practically first thing in the morning.
A friend on one of my mailing lists who has a son bound for Kuwait sent me a link to Faces of Valor, a website that among other things, has lists of American soldiers killed in the Iraqi war. I decided to look for my friend Dan's name, hoping that not seeing it would make me feel a little better. Well, I scrolled down an alphabetical list of names when I saw his last name. Fuck. Not a lot of people spell their name that same way, that I know of. (edited to take out his last name for reasons of privacy) This was also a sergeant, like Dan. It took me a second to realize that the first name given was Jason, not Dan. In that second, I think I lost ten years off my life. Not a good way to start the day, I tell ya.
I'm sure Dan's ok. Just because I haven't heard from him in 14 months doesn't mean he's not ok, right? And it doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't want to talk to me, right? Gods, I hope not. I miss my friend.
A friend on one of my mailing lists who has a son bound for Kuwait sent me a link to Faces of Valor, a website that among other things, has lists of American soldiers killed in the Iraqi war. I decided to look for my friend Dan's name, hoping that not seeing it would make me feel a little better. Well, I scrolled down an alphabetical list of names when I saw his last name. Fuck. Not a lot of people spell their name that same way, that I know of. (edited to take out his last name for reasons of privacy) This was also a sergeant, like Dan. It took me a second to realize that the first name given was Jason, not Dan. In that second, I think I lost ten years off my life. Not a good way to start the day, I tell ya.
I'm sure Dan's ok. Just because I haven't heard from him in 14 months doesn't mean he's not ok, right? And it doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't want to talk to me, right? Gods, I hope not. I miss my friend.
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Date: 2004-03-29 07:42 am (UTC)I know how hard it is. I do. I had numerous friends in the first gulf war. Every time I heard of something happening, and people dying, I thought, "It couldn't possibly be..."
Everyone I knew returned intact. It didn't give me any fewer gray hairs, though.
Unfortunately, that's part of the cost of loving a soldier.
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Date: 2004-03-29 07:49 am (UTC)Yeah, and it sucks. I'm just glad that one of the three that I care about most is nowhere near the fighting, and probably not even deployable.