(no subject)

[badseed1980]

It's weird how ickily awkward feelings can come over you all of a sudden and make you want to tiptoe out of the room and hide in a corner somewhere. One minute you're a happy, confident person whose life is looking up. The next, you're reminded of all the insecurities you've been working on, and afraid that they'll only get worse as time goes on, and you feel like you're dirty and you need a shower. Why does that happen? Why do you feel one minute like you're a vibrant and active member of a social circle and then feel like the odd man out? Eh, who cares? I'm going yarn shopping. That should be enough.

Comments

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

And, by the way, I care.

You know what you are. A poorly thought out email does not change who you are, to yourself, or to me, or to anyone else, really.

I know it's how you FEEL, and I won't invalidate that.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Um, I know who I am, but I just wonder if I'm in the right place.

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

I cannot answer that. I know I want you with me, and that I have to do a lot more to make that okay with you. Because it still isn't, not to the level it should be.

[tigira.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. *huuuug*

Um, you know you're fabulous, right? Just ask cairpre26 or ravenstorm27. Or, of course, me, or pierceheart, or meadmaker, or lindalee...need I go on?

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Aww...you rock, honey :)

I'm cheered up now
I just needed something good to take the bad taste out of my mouth

[ravenstorm27.livejournal.com]

In fact, cairpre26 and I are already conspiring to try and spend a little more time with you this Fall. cairpre26 stops working Saturdays as of September 1 so don't be surprised if we start calling to tempt you out for girly lunches or early evening cocktails.

I feel like we never get to see you as much as we want to! Waaaaaah!

[dolphindream.livejournal.com]

yeah, i get what you are talking about, although for me it's not a social thing, it's being a functional member of society. *HUG* take care, babe.

Then again. . .

[(Anonymous)]

. . . if something inside you is telling you something isn't right, then something probably isn't. But don't make the mistake of believing that YOU aren't right, or that you're bad. Instead think about what sort of things in your life are not making you happy (which very often are the very things you're doing in order to make yourself happy: a person may feel lonely and unattended, so they go out and seek all kinds of attention that will make them feel better, except the things they're doing and the attention they're getting isn't authentic, so they haven't solved their problem, and they feel shame for not succeeding.) Think about the things that aren't making you happy, and change them.

We keep making the same mistakes because we refuse to learn lessons from them. Its too easy to beat on ourselves for failing to learn or failing to stop the mistakes. Its much harder to just stop making the mistake, because first we need to forgive ourselves and love ourselves. Seems backwards, but what seems backwards and contradictory is usually the profoundest of truths.

Re: Then again. . .

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Could whoever wrote this, if you're someone I know or have spoken to, please drop me an e-mail or at least identify yourself? I'm letting this go unscreened because there's nothing bad being said under cover of anonymity, but I like to know when people I know are reading and commenting on my journal. Thanks.

And sometimes, something may feel wrong in some ways, but in other ways, it may be more absolutely and purely right than anything. Or one thing may be wrong and one thing right, but the two go hand-in-hand.

As Tom Waits said, "If I exorcize my devils, well my angels may leave too / And when they leave, they're so hard to find."

[wolf-kells.livejournal.com]

I understand.

*hug*

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*