Poetry. Surprise! Yes, I do still write sometimes.

[badseed1980]

Castles in the Sky/Castles in the Sand

Building sand castles as a girl
I would always build close to the water.
That was where the good sand was—
The wet sand that you could pile and pack and drip
As high as you could reach,
If you had the time and the patience.
And children have all the time in the world
And I had more patience than some,
At least when it came to making something pretty.
The sand was the best for building dreams and fairy tales.

So I would stand there at the ocean’s edge,
Digging into the wet sand with a plastic spade
And packing it into walls, battlements, and towers.
I would squeeze sand and water from my fist,
Making drip towers like molten mountains.
I always hollowed a window in the towers
(For the princess, imprisoned by an evil witch),
And hollowed a door with a driftwood drawbridge
(For the prince to ride to her rescue).
The walls of the castle, I decked with shells and stones and sea-glass,
All the shiny things the sea had to offer.
There was always a moat, a shallow channel around the castle,
Where I would carefully, carefully, invite the sea in,
Coaxing it along another channel from where the waves played
And into the one surrounding my castle.

For a while, a few hours perhaps,
My castle would be a glorious sight:
Its seaweed banners fluttered, its stones and shells glittered in the sun.
And the moat would swirl around, protecting it from invading armies.
I would stand close by, keeping my eyes out
For younger or older children, who, careless or malicious
Might step on it (Philistines!) and crumble my dreams back to sand.
I kept it safe from sudden attack.

But always, as the day wore on, the sea would swell.
The tide would creep in, slowly, slowly, whispering over the sand.
The channel from the sea would fill first, the tide slyly erasing its lines.
Then the moat would start to fill and roil,
Swirling more strongly around the castle walls.
The foundations would crumble first.
The water would eat them away with its soft and sinister mouth,
Whispering and bubbling away all the while.
For a while, the walls would hold, but in the end they fell.
The prince’s drawbridge would cave in, and the princess’s tower would topple.
I would watch the dreams and fairy tales return to sand and water,
Feel them drowned beneath the slow relentless sea.

I never did learn to build farther from the water.
I always wanted that good sand, the stuff with which
I could make my dreams take form and reach to the sky.
And the sea took them every time,
Another sacrifice for a thing which has eaten lives and hopes for ages.
The sea has no mercy; it does not stop for dreams,
And life itself will not hold back
From crushing them into dust and salt water.
Castles in the sky crumble like castles in the sand.

Comments

[tisana.livejournal.com]

Very nice extended metaphor.

And yeah, I totally understand...

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)
Most of my poetry lately has been in the form of conceits.

It's not so much something that was preying on my mind today, but the thought was triggered by someone else's post, and made its way into a poem.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Why is the "artistic" mood icon so happy-looking?

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

I could tell right away, from the title (which is SO good) where the poem was going.

First of all, it was a wonderful read.

It reminded me of when I was a kid, doing the same sort of thing.

it also got me to thinking . . .

Building from the god wet sand, but up further from the water's edge, by bringing the good sand up in a bucket.

Castles built that way last longer.

But I do get what you are saying.

I think much of this can be looked at as, well, yes, the structure is torn down, but can be rebuilt . . . with much the same materials as befor.

Now, mind you, I am not trying to be all polly anna about sand castles . . .
nor anything else

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

I think much of this can be looked at as, well, yes, the structure is torn down, but can be rebuilt . . . with much the same materials as befor.

But after a while, you get sick of rebuilding over and over and watching it get all torn down again. It's exhausting and depressing.

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

I know. which is why I suggest bringing your materials from the good source, and building them away from the dangers. Not sure how this works out metaphorically, and not sure I want to continue that train of thought.

but there are ways of making sandcastles last longer . . . and, remember, sand castles are KNOWN to be impermanent structures. No one tries to live in them.

They are a temporary wonder. Done with a childlike innocence.

You should see, though, my friend drew. Has a masters in CJ, works a great job in the probate court, and wants to give it all up, to go and be a tradesman. He likes to build. He wants to build his own home. He has that childlike wonder, at the idea of building structures that last longer than the next tide.

Maybe I am being too optimistic, but it seems to me that same wonderment can be brougth from the admittedly temporary sand castle world to something that lasts longer . . .

All that being said, I loved the poem. It touched me.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Maybe I am being too optimistic, but it seems to me that same wonderment can be brougth from the admittedly temporary sand castle world to something that lasts longer . . .

Ah, but life has yet to prove to me that I can build anything more permanent than a sand castle.

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

and, oh by the way, I totally understand too.

I feel that way myself, a lot.

[wolf-kells.livejournal.com]

BRAVO

Nicely put.

[lokiswings.livejournal.com]

This would be beautiful as an illustrated book.

A little too...hopeless for kids though.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think it would depress them. :)

But a book about making sandcastles would be lovely.