Damn it all.

[badseed1980]

So I may just end up getting shamed into trying that fucking Atkins shit. No offense to anyone who's on it, but for me, I think it sounds quite a bit like how I'd imagine Hell to be. More miserable than the diets that make you cut down on calories and measure stuff. But my mom's lost 41 fucking pounds. She now wears a smaller pants size than I do. That has never, never, never happened. I feel like a fat fucking slob. Oh, and to make matters worse, my fucking sister is on it now.

I hate diets that make it so hard to find anything to eat when you go out. You're so damned limited. It's also hard to eat anything fast, especially on induction. Well, ok, you can eat cheese and tuna out of a can and cold cuts, but that's about it for fast stuff. And I don't like cold cuts much. See, that's the main problem. I've never been a huge fan of meat. Sometimes I crave it, but most of the time I don't much care. And the idea of having slim jims and pork rinds as my only snacks bothers me. So does giving up coffee for two weeks. My mom was very enthusiastic about the program from the beginning because she prefers meat to carbs anyway, and doesn't much care for sweets. Me, I'm exactly the opposite. And unlike other diets, if you cheat JUST ONCE, if you have "just a spoonful of sugar" in the first two weeks, you're fucked utterly, according to the website, and have to start all over again. Bleah.

So I really, really, really hate this idea. I don't have the time to think of nifty ways of cooking meat that don't involve my Atkins-incompatible sauces and casseroles, nor do I have the time to cook them. I don't know how to cook cuts of meat like steaks or pork tenderloins or stuff like that, and it's all very expensive compared to say, pasta or rice.

But I am ashamed of my body when compared with others, and feel like a fool for not doing what they're doing. I feel like my mom and sister must be looking at me and thinking, "How stupid can she be? Idiot-proof weight loss is at her fingertips, and she still insists on being a fat blob!" My mom is going to look like a fucking swimsuit model soon, and I'll look like her ugly duckling daughter by comparison. I don't want to be "the fat one" among my family, with everyone thinking that when they see me with them. I don't want to be the only one who can't fit into clothes.

Fuck. I hate this shit. I have a single egg, some cheese, a can of tuna, mayo, and *maybe* some broccoli. I may force myself through an Atkins day tomorrow and see how miserable it makes me.

End of rant.

Comments

[elissa-carey.livejournal.com]

Don't do Atkins. It's full of bullshit. Anything that makes you go through ketosis, which is NOT the healthiest of conditions to be in, is just another way to kill yourself slowly in my opinion.

Shame? I think the people who are trying to force that condition on you should feel ashamed. I think you're beautiful, Laura. Be angry at societal conditioning that tries to make you feel inadequate because you're not fitting a stereotype that WE DID NOT PICK. Don't feel angry at yourself, unless it's because it's hard to shed that -- and it is. You're allowed to feel angry at that. It shakes you up and makes you think, and realize that you don't have to carry around this bullshit thinking anymore. It's not yours. It belongs to some advertising executive who's thinking of new ways to make anorexia and heroin chic look sexy. Fuck that.

Do you feel unhealthy? I mean truly unhealthy: no energy, not fitting the clothes you like, that kind of thing. If so, then get a better balanced diet and some moderate exercise. But if you're already doing that, and you feel fine, then piss all over that supermodel crap. Refuse to let it upset you. It's not you. The people who matter already like you the way you are, and will like you no matter what you do to yourself. Anyone who decides that NOW you're worth the time once you look like you're a posterchild for Dachau is the type of person who isn't worth it.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Well, the reason I'm thinking about Atkins is that I KNOW it works, and that it works for people like my mom who have a similar metabolism to mine. It works, and it works fast. And my mom's cholesterol hasn't gone up. She's healthy, not scrawny. A size 10. I'd like to be a 10. Or maybe an 8. I'm tired of being as big as I am. I don't like the fact that I now weigh more than my boyfriend. And like I said, I know Atkins works fast without making you starve yourself or take harmful diet pills. Even nutritionists don't see any harm in it. I used to think that Atkins's diet philosophy was superstitious bullshit, but now I'm wondering if maybe those of us who cling to the idea that it sounds unhealthy are the ones who are bullshitting ourselves. I don't want to watch everyone ooh and ahh over my mom and sister. See, watching friends and coworkers and acquaintances drop the pounds while you stay fat is one thing. Watching family do it--when you've always been the most slender and well-proportioned of all of them--is quite another.

Then again...if I could lose weight WITHOUT Atkins, I'd feel like it was a victory over them. Hmm. Competition is a powerful motivator. I should think about that.

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

I now weigh more than my boyfriend

Okay. One last time, I hope. My weight loss is abnormal. Dangerous even.

While I like how some new clothes I bought fit me, they will fit well when I get my 10 pounds back.

Please do not get pissy because you weigh more than I do.

It's not healthy for me to be this skinny, in some ways, it is not comfortable. I am less padded than I should be: bicycle riding hurts my ass bones . . .
I am also more prone to feeling cold, I have no insulation. I noticed I didn't float well at the farm, why I went for the raft/mat thingy.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Well yeah, I still think you need to gain weight.

[mizdarkgirl.livejournal.com]

I am a bigger fan of The Zone. It is lower fat and allows you to eat veggies. But it still low carb. Basically you give up white food (white bread, white rice, pasta etc) and eat something green instead. It is very close to the diet my nutritionist put me on when I had blood sugar issues.

But don't do it because everyone else is. That is just silly.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I've heard about The Zone and South Beach as being better. Maybe if I just practice more portion control (well, now that I'm back from Stones where I worked off every extra calorie) and just cut down on carbs without coming close to cutting them out, I can do well. Oh, and I also refuse to pay for a diet. I don't want to pay to get the info and tips for WW or South Beach.

[tigira.livejournal.com]

The Zone is probably the most balanced of these.
The only reason I am doing Atkins is because it addresses potential blood sugar issues, and with my mother's diagnosis, I needed to do that.

[mizdarkgirl.livejournal.com]

Most the stuff is free on line...
To get started:
http://www.zoneperfect.com/site/content/calculator.asp

Meal Plan:
http://www.zoneperfect.com/Site/content/mealplans_7d11b.asp

Blocks:
http://www.zoneperfect.com/Site/content/FoodBlocks1.asp

[book-of-pain.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to get into it with you about the weight thing again, but life without pasta isn't life at all.

a word of warning about Atkins

[deadwinter.livejournal.com]

I'm mot going to go on an on about the dangers to your liver, blah, blah, chloesterol, blah, blah. You're a grown woman, after all.

I do have to warn you that Atkins makes you tired. Presumably, after a week this goes away. I personally never had the luxury of walking around like a zombie for a week, so I always give up after day two or three.

And remember, your brain wants carbs. Ketones do poorly in the blood brain barrier.

Re: a word of warning about Atkins

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

See, now, I did a week of Atkins induction phase at FT Dix in november of last year. I was NOT tired, especially not after lunch, which had been common with my typical sandwich (homemade or mcd's) and coke . . .

I rode the insulin/sugar rollercoaster.

I was shorter tempered on Atkins though.

[lindalee.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed that you think you're fat -- I think you're totally gorgeous.

If you want to look different for your own reasons, I totally support you in that, but don't do it because society thinks you should.

[witchyspyce.livejournal.com]

No way, do weight watchers with me. You can have anything you want.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's actually the one i like best. But it's also one you have to pay for, and you have to go to meetings, which I don't know I'll have time for. Where do you go to meetings, and how much does the program cost?

[maxievenus.livejournal.com]

Well, you don't really have to pay for it unless you want the tools and want to go to the meetings. I did it for a month by borrowing witchyspyce's books. I'm really not using them anymore now though. I can give them back and maybe you could borrow them. Assuming it's ok with her. :)

Oh, and Paul made a little Flash program that calculates points. I forgot the link to download it from, but I can ask him.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Oh, that might be cool if she'd lend them to me. I can photocopy the lists and charts and stuff that I need. And the program would be awesome! Thanks! :)

I did lose quite a lot of weight on the *old* WW plan when I was about 10, but then just when I was ready to just do maintenance, I hit adolescence, and BANG! The body changed, um, drastically. :P

[witchyspyce.livejournal.com]

Of course you can borrow them. I think I have an extra points finder too.

We are both on Bostondieters on LJ, it helps to rant there..

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Nifty :) Thanks, honey!

[gracejames.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I agree. Don’t do Atkins. I have a friend that did Atkins and she looks awful. Sure, she lost a ton of weight, but now it hangs off her like she bought her skin 3 sizes too big. That is far less attractive than a little meat, let me tell you. Plus, her moods are ALL over the place. She’s a walking emotional nightmare.

Before I moved, I was doing an abridged version of South Beach Diet. I joined on-line. That and the gym really worked for me. In 2 months, I lost about 15 pounds in a very healthy way. The gym helped me tone as I went along. South Beach, phase 2, is a good way to go. It just replaces bad carbs (white flour and refined sugars) with good carbs (vegetables and fruits and nuts). It’s also low fat so you aren’t clogging your arteries with a breakfast of bacon and steak. I can look up some stuff on South Beach if you like.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

I have met people who have lost weight and stayed healthy on Atkins. Not everyone has problems with it.

[maxievenus.livejournal.com]

Here's the link to the points calculator, http://thewurx.com/flex.exe

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Yay! Thank you :)

[p-firesinger.livejournal.com]

OK, I have seen people on Atkins that hate life. I have seen people come off it and gain every pound plus a few back.

Every diet that changes the content of your menu will not only fail if you revert to your normal eating habits, but will cause you to gain more weight than if you had never gone on the diet. This effect is called the diet yo-yo and it is well documented.

Portion control or permanent diet changes are the only effective long-term diet methods known. I for one have lost close to 35 pounds from an all-time high of 200 pounds. I am now somewhere between 165 and 170 at any given time. I did so by not eating when I wasn't hungry. That may seem rather simple, but reducing the intake really helped. I have completely removed sodas and most artificially flavored drinks from my diet, occassionally having a cup or two. That cut out no less than 1500 daily calories from my diet. I started eating less and less as far as portions go until I have gotten to the point that I can just about put away two plain cheeseburgers at Burger King. My previous meal there was two doubles, an order of fries, a large soda, a dessert, and whatever fries the kids left over.

I feel healthy and have much more energy than I did even though I am eating less. If you want to diet, try simply not forcing yourself to finish all that is in front of you simply because the company who packages it thinks you should eat a certain amount.

[gracejames.livejournal.com]

I agree. Portion control is so hard. Especially when you eat dinner out. They give you so much food. I almost always take some home. I’ve also heard that instead of eating 3 big meals to have 6 small meals. It keeps the blood sugar steady and eliminates hunger eating. For example, you start out with a hardboiled egg and some yogurt. Then a bit later, some fruit or nuts. A salad or small sandwich for lunch (on whole grain bread that is). For a snack later, you can have more fruit, yogurt or veggies and hummus. And for dinner, chicken or steak with some veggies. For the sweet tooth craving, they suggest semi-sweet chocolate. It has less carbs and sugars, but it does satisfy the craving. If you are looking to cut carbs, there are many low carb options out there. I don’t suggest low carb ice cream, it’s a weird texture and gummy. And instead of low carb peanut butter, go for all natural peanut butter. It is low on carbs, but not made with partially hydrogenated oils. Also, try to stay away from juices – most of them are just sugar. Water water water.