I'm bored. Let's start a story. Comment with the next sentence, anyone?

[badseed1980]

Once upon a time there was a transvestite. She was on a quest in search of some magic shoes that would turn her into a princess forever.

Comments

[tigira.livejournal.com]

Alas, since she was a transvestite, she had a difficult time even finding platforms and strappies that FIT her, much less magic ones.

So she decided to advertise in the Onion for a maker of magic shoes...

(someone pick it up?)

[tisana.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, as is so often the case in online ads, people don't read the ad well and instead tend to reply with crude overtures for sex with bad grammar, so what she got in response was someone looking to tie her up and roleplay the Cinderella story with ill-fitting shoes while playing, "This magic moment..." in the background.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

But then one day an e-mail came from a guy with a screen name of PrinceCharming42. It said, "Honey, I can make you a pair of shoes that make Manolo Blahniks look like cheap trash. You'll be guaranteed to feel like a princess in them, you'll make Imelda Marcos weep. And they won't cost you a thing...but you have to promise me one teeny-weeny little favour in return..."

[tigira.livejournal.com]

You must never, ever, for as long as you live and then some, ever tell anyone the source of these fabulous magic shoes.

[tisana.livejournal.com]

"...even though," the cobbler-cum-Prince Charming continued, "the very act of walking down the street will cause all heads to turn your way, and adoring fans and media crews will chase you and beg you to let them know your secret. If you tell them where you got your shoes, you will be visited each night thereafter by chittering armadilloes who will tickle your bare feet and never let you sleep again. And what's a princess without her beauty sleep?"

[leenah.livejournal.com]

For a few weeks, she was dismayed that no replies had come. Surely there was someone who was wise enough to read The Onion, and skilled enough to make magic shoes! But alas, her hopes seemed in vain....

[leenah.livejournal.com]

For a few weeks, she was dismayed that no ETA: APPROPRIATE replies had come. Surely there was someone who was wise enough to read The Onion, and skilled enough to make magic shoes! But alas, her hopes seemed in vain....

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

Until this one day, when she got this poorly spelled resp[onse from someone claiming the name Romani Brown, and that he culd kobble sum shoos good fer her. She was initially dismayed but . . .

Non sequitur

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Honey, is your e-mail broken?

Re: Non sequitur

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

It was, but is not now.

Re: Non sequitur

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Ah, good. :)

[tigira.livejournal.com]

But she decided to give the poor slob a chance. After all, there was a familiar ring to his name. However, before she would commit, she was going to teach him to TYPE.

She agreed to meet...

[p-firesinger.livejournal.com]

Since we all know the Onion is the best place to advertise to find the Gypsy cobblers, the only real people who can make magic shoes.

(next)

[tigira.livejournal.com]

Alas, all she heard from were non-descripts whose idea of magic required special wands...

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

And she was worldy enough to know that any Magic Wand that needed to be plugged into an outlet wasn't exactly what she was looking for...well, not to get the shoes, anyway.

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

And then she spied the perfect response: "Magick shoes, freedom, and a violet magick wand, all for you, to use as you Will." signed by Tyagi Mordred Nagasiva, 93 Crowley Place, Boston MA . . .