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[badseed1980]

I have been so bad with the updating lately! Sorry, folks. It was a busy weekend, and it's hard for me to find time to update at work lately. On the plus side, though, that has made me so much more productive here...the other admin has noticed and applauded me for it. And given that she is sorta one of my bosses, it's cool. I am hoping for a better review next time around, and maybe a better raise.

Random thoughts I've been having:

1. I am totally in feel-sorry-for-myself mode about my lack of dates. Seriously. It's stupid, yes. But Sunday evening, I spent the entire time with FOUR couples. No other people there were unpartnered, and I had no one to kiss under the damned mistletoe. Walking to the T stop in the morning, crossing over a bitterly cold, windy, snowy bridge, trying not to slip and fall, after NO sleep, was miserable because I knew I wouldn't be curling up to sleep next to someone after. Gah. I have written to a few people online lately. One had written to me first, and the other never wrote back. I just want to bloody well have dinner and moderate flirtation with someone. I miss my boy, and I hate the fact that the other two lovely gentlemen who I know are at least interested in me live so far away. And I am starting to feel like anyone local who I might have an interest in, isn't interested in me. *sigh* Ok, that's enough self-pity for the time being.

2. Although thought #1 is something that intruded somewhat on my enjoyment of the Flea, I still did enjoy it a lot. It's great being able to chat openly about an interest that you usually have to keep quiet, if not completely hidden, in public. The people-watching was fun, too. I saw a number of yummy men, and some fabulous outfits on the women that gave me some inspiration. I will have to try out some liquid latex one of these days.

3. New icon! This is from a series of pictures taken by the inimitable meadmaker. He rocks! I will probably put up one of the unmasked shots too, just as a "this is what I look like every day" picture. I don't have one of those.

4. A company with which we have a VAR relationship sent us a big ol' tower of cookies, candy, and pound cake. Oy vey. Gods help me. At least I'm still on the downward slope with weight.

5. In spite of the pain of a long-distance relationship, I feel very lucky to have my pierceheart. He makes me very happy. I think he's going to like the presents I got him, both the one I sent him yesterday and the one I will give him when he comes home. :)

And that's about it for now.

Comments

[stustustu.livejournal.com]

If it's any mild consolation, I'd be happy to take you for a mistletoe dinner with a flirtation sidesalad **hugs**

LDR's are a pain in the ass.. but mine started out transatlantic, and we've now been together and married for a little over 4 years. Take heart :)

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't think the long distance is going to kill the relationship or anything...we've been toegether since July '03, and he's coming home in March anyway.

And hey, you want to feed me mistletoe? Jeez. What did I do to deserve the assassination attempt? :P

[stustustu.livejournal.com]

But it's a tradition! Carving slices of mistletoe, then a warm kiss under the turkey!

I may have things a little confused there. But I have a big pot of whipped cream, and I'm damn sure I know where that goes!

PS/ Also bought some gummi handcuffs yesterday. Intruiging little things so they are :)

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

Sweetheart, I know you worry about what you said in #1 being stupid, but, damnit, does it hurt you? Yes. Then you should express that hurt.

I know too well what a situation is like when it feels like someone is not allowed to express hurt, when they feel stupid doing it, or feel wrong for doing it.

It hurts you.

I would do anything within my power to give you a wonderful date.

I love you so much!

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Sweetheart, I know you worry about what you said in #1 being stupid, but, damnit, does it hurt you? Yes. Then you should express that hurt.

I know, but I also know it gets tiresome to other people when I feel sorry for myself.

I would do anything within my power to give you a wonderful date.

I know, sweetie. And you will, when you get home.

Love you too!

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

Tiresome, maybe, but is it feeling sorry for yourself (when there is something you could be doing to FIX the situation) or is it feeling sorry for yourself (when there isn't anything more you can do about it, you have exhausted all the avenues you know of)?

If it were the former, i can see it getting tiresome to real friends. if it is the latter, real friends understand it hurts and shouldn't get tired of you complaining about pain.

I would ask those you

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Tiresome, maybe, but is it feeling sorry for yourself (when there is something you could be doing to FIX the situation) or is it feeling sorry for yourself (when there isn't anything more you can do about it, you have exhausted all the avenues you know of)?

If it were the former, i can see it getting tiresome to real friends. if it is the latter, real friends understand it hurts and shouldn't get tired of you complaining about pain.

I would ask those you <iThink</i> it is getting tiresome to, if it is.

I don't believe most of them will say it is getting tiresome.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Well, it's like this: it's a situation that sucks. I am continually working on making it better. So far that work has not been successful. So, I complain about it. And to be honest, I think I do it more often to you than to anyone else. And I have been trying to balance out any public whining I do with an equal amount of talking about the good things in my life, including sharing any hopes that might arise for my dating situation to get better.

And I do try to remind the people I care about how grateful I am for their presence in my life, even those of you who are physically very far away.

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

Well, as far as I am concerned, you aren't doing too much complaining about it. The only thing that gets even slightly under my skin is that I feel helpless to help you.

But I will listen, and make any suggestion I MIGHT be able to think of.

I never doubted your gratefulness, never could, never will.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Thank you love. It means a lot to me that you want to help. :)

[elissa-carey.livejournal.com]

I'm probably not one of those people, but I'll stand up and say that it's not tiresome to me. It's OK to feel lonely and sorry for yourself sometimes. You've been doing what you can, so you're not unjustified.

Many hugs! I love the photo. The mask and the expression on your face is really great.

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

The entire photo set, and the other one, do her true prettiness and beauty justice.

i wish I were that good of a photographer, because while my pictures of her from thanksgiving last year show that she is pretty, they just don't show HOW pretty she is!

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *hugs*

I'm glad it's not tiresome. And regarding the picture...you should see some of the other ones he took!!

[tisana.livejournal.com]

"No other people there were unpartnered, and I had no one to kiss under the damned mistletoe"

So it hasn't been the case recently, sure--but I have been there far too often, so you have my sympathy. It's a lonely place to be, mentally, even when you do have someone that just happens to not be there right then. So no, it's not stupid.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Thanks :)

[tigira.livejournal.com]

Hon, you have my sympathy. This has honestly been the first year that I was able to spend this holiday WITH a sweetie. Ever. Really.

For most of my life I have watched others be partnered while I was not. I'm sorry you had to feel like that.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it does suck, huh? I did get to spend last Christmas actually being with a sweetie, for the first time. But that came RIGHT on the heels of the worst heartbreak I've ever had. Bleah.

Thanks sweetie. *hug* I'm glad you and your man have one another. I love you both, and knowing you're happy makes me happy.

[lindalee.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you felt that way...I've spent more years I can count without a partner at events like that, not even a partner who was far away. I know it's hard.

*hugs*

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweetie :) *hug*

I'm glad you got to see T there, and got an extra day with him besides!