(no subject)

Are you damned?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

You're coming back! And if you are a Hindu you are going to have very specific characteristics:

"The slayer of a woman and the destroyer of embryos becomes a savage full of diseases; who commits illicit intercourse, a eunuch; who goes with his teacher’s wife, disease-skinned. The eater of flesh becomes very red; the drinker of intoxicants, one with discolored teeth...." (Garuda Purana)

(no subject)

The Onion nails it on the plight of the vain woman! LOL

http://www.theonion.com/3947/opinion2.html

Things to do when he gets back

1. Have that snuggle session in front of the fireplace with hot cocoa.
2. Watch The Wickerman.
3. Go out for sushi (last time he changed his mind and we got tapas).
4. Cook for him. I'm so sorry I haven't done that.
5. Give him the private dance recital I promised him (and no, Arabian Nights at Man Ray doesn't quite count).
6. Finish up what we started in the high meadow at Four Quarters and lose some more points on my purity test
7. Everything else we've already done...again.

Now for a German lesson, everyone!

Stolen from a random LJ-user:


Ich möchte Geschlecht mit Ihrem Llama haben.
I would like to have sex with your llama.

In Amerika schmeckt unser Bier wie Urin.
In America, our beer tastes like urine.

Biber sind fleißige Nagetiere.
Beavers are industrious rodents.

Mein Pankreas ist in den Schmerz.
My pancreas is in pain.

Ich werde getrunken und ich lasse nicht Communism zu.
I am drunk, and I do not permit Communism.

Meine Katze spricht Deutsches...wo die Würste sind?
My cat speaks German...where are the sausages?

Nichts kann das Grimace stoppen.
Nothing can stop the Grimace.

Mein Luftkissenfahrzueg ist mit Aale besetzt.
My hovercraft is full of eels.

Verkaufen Sie Sturmgewehr?
Do you sell assault rifles?

Ihre Brustwarze sind sichtbar.
I can see your nipples.

Du warst doch schöner als ich besoffen war.
I liked you better when I was drunk.

Ich habe einen riesig Eisenpenis.
I have an immense iron penis.

Ich habe unabsichtlicht eine alte Frau auf dem Autobahn übergefahren.
I accidentally ran over an old woman on the Autobahn.

Dein Hund versucht mit meinen Beine Sex zu haben.
Your dog is trying to have sex with my leg.

Kommt deise Kleid von meinem Abfallhaufen?
Is that dress from my trash can?