Now for a German lesson, everyone!

[badseed1980]

Stolen from a random LJ-user:


Ich möchte Geschlecht mit Ihrem Llama haben.
I would like to have sex with your llama.

In Amerika schmeckt unser Bier wie Urin.
In America, our beer tastes like urine.

Biber sind fleißige Nagetiere.
Beavers are industrious rodents.

Mein Pankreas ist in den Schmerz.
My pancreas is in pain.

Ich werde getrunken und ich lasse nicht Communism zu.
I am drunk, and I do not permit Communism.

Meine Katze spricht Deutsches...wo die Würste sind?
My cat speaks German...where are the sausages?

Nichts kann das Grimace stoppen.
Nothing can stop the Grimace.

Mein Luftkissenfahrzueg ist mit Aale besetzt.
My hovercraft is full of eels.

Verkaufen Sie Sturmgewehr?
Do you sell assault rifles?

Ihre Brustwarze sind sichtbar.
I can see your nipples.

Du warst doch schöner als ich besoffen war.
I liked you better when I was drunk.

Ich habe einen riesig Eisenpenis.
I have an immense iron penis.

Ich habe unabsichtlicht eine alte Frau auf dem Autobahn übergefahren.
I accidentally ran over an old woman on the Autobahn.

Dein Hund versucht mit meinen Beine Sex zu haben.
Your dog is trying to have sex with my leg.

Kommt deise Kleid von meinem Abfallhaufen?
Is that dress from my trash can?

Comments

[tisana.livejournal.com]

Ha! Don't make me snarf the cough drop, woman, menthol is harsh.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

LOL. Now say that in German!

"Ich habe Kartoffelsalat in meinen Lederhosen!"

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

I have potato salad in my shorts?

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

in my lederhosen, yeah. That's from the back of the Let's Go guide to Germany that I got when I went to Berlin. :)

[rednikki.livejournal.com]

I'm totally a geek...these are all really funny, but several of them are in the worst German grammar imaginable! (Sorry, I'm hopefully going there to study, so I'm trying to improve my language skills, and being able to identify bad grammar is something of an accomplishment!)

Thank you for making me laugh.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Hehehe...
I don't actually know German, unless you want to count the lyrics to a few Einsturzende Neubauten songs. :)

[rednikki.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm...Neubauten. Best live band I've ever seen. A friend described them as "a vocalist, a guitarist, a bassist, and two very angry young shop students."

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

I was lucky enough to see their 20th anniversary show in Berlin. Woo-hoo! Amazing!