
So I may just end up getting shamed into trying that fucking Atkins shit. No offense to anyone who's on it, but for me, I think it sounds quite a bit like how I'd imagine Hell to be. More miserable than the diets that make you cut down on calories and measure stuff. But my mom's lost 41 fucking pounds. She now wears a smaller pants size than I do. That has never, never, never happened. I feel like a fat fucking slob. Oh, and to make matters worse, my fucking sister is on it now.
I hate diets that make it so hard to find anything to eat when you go out. You're so damned limited. It's also hard to eat anything fast, especially on induction. Well, ok, you can eat cheese and tuna out of a can and cold cuts, but that's about it for fast stuff. And I don't like cold cuts much. See, that's the main problem. I've never been a huge fan of meat. Sometimes I crave it, but most of the time I don't much care. And the idea of having slim jims and pork rinds as my only snacks bothers me. So does giving up coffee for two weeks. My mom was very enthusiastic about the program from the beginning because she prefers meat to carbs anyway, and doesn't much care for sweets. Me, I'm exactly the opposite. And unlike other diets, if you cheat JUST ONCE, if you have "just a spoonful of sugar" in the first two weeks, you're fucked utterly, according to the website, and have to start all over again. Bleah.
So I really, really, really hate this idea. I don't have the time to think of nifty ways of cooking meat that don't involve my Atkins-incompatible sauces and casseroles, nor do I have the time to cook them. I don't know how to cook cuts of meat like steaks or pork tenderloins or stuff like that, and it's all very expensive compared to say, pasta or rice.
But I am ashamed of my body when compared with others, and feel like a fool for not doing what they're doing. I feel like my mom and sister must be looking at me and thinking, "How stupid can she be? Idiot-proof weight loss is at her fingertips, and she still insists on being a fat blob!" My mom is going to look like a fucking swimsuit model soon, and I'll look like her ugly duckling daughter by comparison. I don't want to be "the fat one" among my family, with everyone thinking that when they see me with them. I don't want to be the only one who can't fit into clothes.
Fuck. I hate this shit. I have a single egg, some cheese, a can of tuna, mayo, and *maybe* some broccoli. I may force myself through an Atkins day tomorrow and see how miserable it makes me.
End of rant.