References

[badseed1980]

So for those of you who haven't yet heard the story, I did ask the ex-boss about a reference on my last day. He said he would provide a reference for me, but said, "I'm gonna warn you: I'm honest. I give the good stuff and the 'needs improvement' stuff." So I'm thinkin' a reference from him is likely to hurt me more than it helps me.

Now that the "I'm trying to keep my job search confidential" response is no longer applicable, what answer do I give to "Is there a reason why you don't want us to contact your former employer?"

On another note, I did think of a good answer for "why did you quit before you got a new job?" I said, "I thought I'd be helping myself more by temping and trying a few different kinds of jobs in different kinds of companies, than I would by staying in a job I found somewhat stifling. Also, as a temp, it's easier for me to stay in contact with people in the course of my job search, and easier to schedule interviews." Go, me!

But I'm really not certain what to say about the reference question. Is it ok to say something about not having a good relationship with him? If it is, I can soften that by saying that I had better relationships with my direct supervisors, but that they are not allowed by company policy to provide references or even employment verification for ex-employees (which is absolutely true). I just don't know what to do. I want to be honest without making it sound like "Don't contact him because he'll tell you how much I sucked."

Comments

[mizdarkgirl.livejournal.com]

It is my company's policy to only allow confirmation of dates and salary.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Lucky.

[mizdarkgirl.livejournal.com]

Now you use that line.... And line up a peer reference.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

I do have references from two former supervisors at other jobs, thank the gods.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

But then what if they call him and ask for salary and dates of employment and stuff and he says all kinds of shitty stuff about me?

[mizdarkgirl.livejournal.com]

Remind him by law, he is allowed to confim employment history. If he slanders you, you will have your lawyer contact him.

[brontosproximo.livejournal.com]

Listen to the dark girl. She's been in the biz like me for a while. The standard answer for you for EVERYTHING is that

-you weren't being challenged enough

or

-position was going in direction incompatible with your career goals

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

I'd have to prove that nothing he said was true. Not gonna work, sorry

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

Can you say something like "he's taken my leaving the company personally" and let it stand there?

[sororbabylon.livejournal.com]

I suggest going with option A - tell them you left because of the negative relationship. When they hear you are still using him as a reference and that he is willing in spite of the personality conflict, perhaps it will do the trick.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Are you suggesting I should still use him as a reference?? I'm not sure I'm willing to do that.

[mizdarkgirl.livejournal.com]

Have someone call him posing as a HR person.
Ask the standard questions...

[sororbabylon.livejournal.com]

Only if you have to really. I think you have the right idea.

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

It can often look worse not to give your most recent employer as a reference. People will believe you if you say there was a personality conflict; it's really up to you to make it blindingly obvious that that was because he was an unreasonable asshole, not because you were a hypertouchy diva. Or you can go the route "the job just didn't work for me, I found the environment stifling and the work wasn't taking me forward in my career". People are a big part of the environment, after all.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've already mentioned the stiflingness and stuff. I wonder if mentioning that he's brought at least three of his employees to tears or close to it would have any effect? It's true.

[tigira.livejournal.com]

It was my understanding that, legally, the only questions that can be asked are:

Dates of employment
Salary (in only some cases), and
Whether or not you are eligible for rehire.

However, I am not a lawyer and have not personally studied employment law in Massachusetts. I do know, however, that this has been the way that any of my employers in Wisconsin, Florida, Oklahoma, and even my current employer in Massachusetts works.

(note - not lawyer - that means I am not actually giving legal advice, just my impression of what I have seen.)

[autumnsshadow.livejournal.com]

i would tell them that i didn't have a very good relationship with my last boss and why i thought so, but that i would reference them anyway...that way you've set yourself up to defend yourself if the guy's really a dick but left yourself open to get any praise that might come your way...