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sororbaylon and posted mostly for <user site="livej
Oct. 25th, 2006 02:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badseed1980Math Destruction!
NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordi nates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordi nates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
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no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 06:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 07:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 07:11 pm (UTC)That's it. Enough of this tangent. I'm gonna sine off.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 07:17 pm (UTC)*Waves* :-) (Okay, found Co-Sinner... Check)
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 07:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 07:45 pm (UTC)Thats okay, I'm certain somebody here will have your back...
no subject
Date: 2006-10-26 01:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 07:43 pm (UTC)I'm not one to go for a straight line all the time either...
"and I tend towards hyperbola"
Well you certainly have the curves for it... But we probably don't want to be any more graphic than that, since these public posts could be loged somewhere.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 07:45 pm (UTC)I think MIT is leaking into my brain...
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 07:00 pm (UTC)"We have solid evidence that mathematics was used to develop the atomic bomb. We cannot allow evildoers to have access to weapons of math destruction."
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 07:07 pm (UTC)more fingers and toes
Date: 2006-10-25 07:42 pm (UTC)I think in some other dimension triangles have more than 3 sides
I wonder where in the hell my slide rule is now? maybe in the 4th dimension? or maybe just in the attic somewhere ('course they might be equivalent...or would that be equal?)
Re: more fingers and toes
Date: 2006-10-25 07:48 pm (UTC)well this might seem raher plane, but even in these dimentions tri-angles have 5 sides.... (The three sides everyone sees, plus both an inside and outside...) :-)
Re: more fingers and toes
Date: 2006-10-25 07:49 pm (UTC)Re: more fingers and toes
Date: 2006-10-25 07:52 pm (UTC)Re: more fingers and toes
Date: 2006-10-25 07:57 pm (UTC)No pun intended.
Oh, fine. Pun intended.
Re: more fingers and toes
Date: 2006-10-25 08:00 pm (UTC)Re: more fingers and toes
Date: 2006-10-25 08:11 pm (UTC)Re: more fingers and toes
Date: 2006-10-25 08:13 pm (UTC)Re: more fingers and toes
Date: 2006-10-25 11:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-26 04:00 pm (UTC)