To my friends and family of choice who are going through hard times:

[badseed1980]

Seems like there are a lot of you right now. I wish I could do more to help every single one of you. Life has been so kind to me lately that I almost feel guilty (though I know none of you are the types to begrudge a friend's good fortune). That said, if I can give a little to you of what I've been getting, by giving you some of my time, a spare pair of hands, other emergency assistance, or just a shoulder to cry on and a glass of something tasty, please don't hesitate to ask. I might not know exactly what to offer, so let me know what you need. And if I can't provide what you need, I will try to help you find someone who can and will, if that's the best I can do.

Love you all. Muchly.

Comments

After My Email of Last Night ...

[wolf-kells.livejournal.com]

I'm assuming I'm included on that list.

Thanks.

Even if there's nothing that can be done, it helps a lot to know you have good friends around you who care.

Re: After My Email of Last Night ...

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Yup.

I've known a few people with the same condition that you have. Here's hoping the treatment for it is helpful and doesn't cause any problems itself. :)

Re: After My Email of Last Night ...

[wolf-kells.livejournal.com]

In all honesty, I took the first pill last night. The relief was so profound that I wanted to cry. It's the first time in about a month that I've felt like I wasn't going completely out of my mind.

I know what he cause of the stress is, but it's something that is going to have to work itself out slowly, and it took an absolutely horrible toll on me in the meantime. For awhile there, I really truly thought I was going to have to go into a hospital or something. Because I have a degree in psych., I knew exactly what was happening to me, but that knowledge did squat to help me actually get control of the situation. Massive drinking helped calm my nerves, but only to a point, and with all due respect, that just isn't how I want to be living my life.

If you've never had an anxiety/panic attack, it feels kind of like someone reached into your head and just hijacked your brain. It's like it's your body and your thoughts and feelings and emotions, but somehow you're not the one in control of any of it. It's an utterly terrifying experience.

I'm hoping that I can work through the situation I'm dealing with soon. Part of it will involve leaving my job/being laid off (which will be happening as of August 15th). That will be a huge stress relief, but the rest will take a bit longer to work out.

Re: After My Email of Last Night ...

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

I used to get panic attacks when I was at my old job. They SUCK. You feel so out of control, like your body and mind are betraying you. I've also had them at seriously bad relationship moments. But neither has been an issue for a long time.

Re: After My Email of Last Night ...

[wolf-kells.livejournal.com]

"You feel so out of control, like your body and mind are betraying you."

EXACTLY. I described it to Mike as though you have a tape recorder in your head and suddenly, with no warning, someone reaches into your skull and presses the fast-forward button. Your thoughts, heart rate, breathing, etc. all just speed up to just under mach-12, and you go into total fight-or-flight mode with no warning and no ability to bring yourself out of it. It's terrifying.

"I used to get panic attacks when I was at my old job ... I've also had them at seriously bad relationship moments."

I'm dealing with BOTH simultaneously right now, so you can imagine ...

I think Mike and I will be okay now, but if it weren't for Jim G. finally wading into the mess and helping us sort out some MAJOR miscommunications and misunderstandings, I'm not sure WHAT would have happened.

[ivyluna.livejournal.com]

You're the bees knees, sugar peas!

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

And you're, er, the dragonfly's toenails?

[ivyluna.livejournal.com]

um....ok, then! :D Do they have toenails? Then again, do bees have knees??

[miss-lisa-ma.livejournal.com]

Sometimes the people you love want to help you so much in a crisis (or they're just used to taking over in a crisis) that they run you over. Soemtimes they want so much to help but they can't quite spit it out. And sometimes they're so wigged that it's contagious they just stay away. As a veteran of more than my fair share of CLIs (Crappy Life Incidents) and some downright ugly shit, I can honestly say that yours is one of the nicest, most fitting, most useful and just damn right offers of help from a friend I've come across. Your friends are very lucky to have someone who Gets It, and can offer help in the ways they can handle.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they've ALL been there for me when things have been hairy on my side, so I figure it's only right to do the best I can for them.

[roaming.livejournal.com]

I think just knowing that one is not alone, won't be abandoned, is one of the best gifts we can give our friends. All the other kind of help -- advice, money, time -- is details. Important details, for sure, but it's being "there" no matter how bad it gets that takes a good deal of anxiety out of hard times.

Just saying: what a nice thing for you to say! :-)

[vervain13.livejournal.com]

Sweetie,

You are awesome in your kindness and it is genuinely appreciated at this end. For now there is a lull in the storm...but only a lull. We shal see what the path forward holds. I might take you up on your offer in the form of a basil martini. We should have you over soon.

*much huggly goodness*

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

It's always lovely to see you guys. :)