(no subject)
Feb. 19th, 2004 02:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badseed1980Ever have one of those days when you're sure that either there must be a lot more wrong with you mentally than you though, or that you're average in that regard and everyone in the world is really fucked up in general? I know I'm not manic depressive, but I have SUCH fucking mood swings. I'm happy today. Yesterday I felt like shit. But I know it'd only take a thought straying into the wrong place to make me feel like shit again. Why does that happen? I'm curious.
Um, anyway...
Bad things:
* A boy who is very far away, and not in the best of places.
* Getting sick (I think).
* Being owed money by my roommate, who I know will pay me as soon as he can, but can't yet.
* Sometimes feeling like the outsider among certain of my friends, and not knowing whether it's me, them, or both that's the reason.
* Needing to do laundry tonight. Bleah.
Good things:
* A boy who is working on getting to know himself, and has started the right way, by asking himself some questions.
* Realizing what I thought before was true: that I'm where I need to be. That I just need to go with the flow and see how I evolve.
* Chocolate in a dish on my desk.
* Two new shirts for work.
* Rocky Horror music stuck in my head.
Things I want:
* Runes! Maybe sunstone. Maybe lepidolite. Maybe citrine. I don't know. I found a site that does custom sets in the stone of your choice (they have a lot to pick from).
* More time to dance. I needed so badly to dance yesterday, and was so happy when I got to do so in class. I wish I had more time to do it at home. I will make some this weekend.
* My candlemaking stuff back from LLJ. I want to make some candles this weekend.
* To have a home spa night for myself, with mud masks, scrubs, manicures, steams, etc. That damned time thing again.
* To cook. Something good, like chicken, corn, and black bean chili.
Um, anyway...
Bad things:
* A boy who is very far away, and not in the best of places.
* Getting sick (I think).
* Being owed money by my roommate, who I know will pay me as soon as he can, but can't yet.
* Sometimes feeling like the outsider among certain of my friends, and not knowing whether it's me, them, or both that's the reason.
* Needing to do laundry tonight. Bleah.
Good things:
* A boy who is working on getting to know himself, and has started the right way, by asking himself some questions.
* Realizing what I thought before was true: that I'm where I need to be. That I just need to go with the flow and see how I evolve.
* Chocolate in a dish on my desk.
* Two new shirts for work.
* Rocky Horror music stuck in my head.
Things I want:
* Runes! Maybe sunstone. Maybe lepidolite. Maybe citrine. I don't know. I found a site that does custom sets in the stone of your choice (they have a lot to pick from).
* More time to dance. I needed so badly to dance yesterday, and was so happy when I got to do so in class. I wish I had more time to do it at home. I will make some this weekend.
* My candlemaking stuff back from LLJ. I want to make some candles this weekend.
* To have a home spa night for myself, with mud masks, scrubs, manicures, steams, etc. That damned time thing again.
* To cook. Something good, like chicken, corn, and black bean chili.
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no subject
Date: 2004-02-19 08:13 pm (UTC)Of course. I think, and feel. Therefore, I have that kind of day occasionally. You're not a zombie, therefore, you will, too.
"but I have SUCH fucking mood swings"
When I went off birth control for a few months, I did, too. I like having my hormones regulated--being a woman is supposed to be interesting, but some of those moods were just scary.
A spa treatment sounds like a good thing for you.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-19 08:17 pm (UTC)I don't really need relaxation time so much as I need a day of beauty, since my skin and hair are still recovering from the stress I was under when I *was* premenstrual.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-19 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-19 08:36 pm (UTC)you work hard, you play hard. you may not believe it, but what i've seen, you do. and i'd know if you sat on your ass in between those times. you don't, you do stuff.
we end up expecting way too much from ourselves. high expectations are great, but many people i know are actually unreasonable, w/o realizing it.
one of my favorite phrases is: all you can do is all you can do. of course, i am odd, but it makes sense to me.
hope this was some help. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-02-19 08:42 pm (UTC)I know I do a lot. I am going to take either Friday night or Sunday afternoon to myself as me-time. I have two boys who I try to see once a week at least. I work 9 hours a day. I have dance, Wicca discussion, a monthly class and a monthly circle, laundry every week, apartment cleaning that needs to happen all too frequently...yeah, I need 30-hour days and 9-day weeks.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-19 09:14 pm (UTC)