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Feb. 28th, 2004 01:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badseed1980I hate this. I'm scared. I can barely see the screen right now, I'm crying so hard,. I can't type.
I feel sick. I feel like throwing up, I dont know if I can deal with this. i just want to die.I hate it. I swear it took only weeks from when he told me he loved me for him to love someone else more. I have always, I know it, been secondary in his affections. I can't take tht. I can't. I wish to gods I had never fallen in love. I can't ever allow myself to do it agian. I want to jusst sleep and never wake up.
WHy does this happen? Why does it always happen? Why? Why? Why? I wish I could just feel hate and not love for him, I wish I didn't feel like it was all my fault. I wish I didn't think that breaking up with him is my only option. I don't want to do that. I don't want to want it. I'm so fucking scared right now. I almost wish I had died the night he said he loved me so none of this would ever have happened. I wish I had died at that last moment of haoppiness. I won't ever kill myself, but sometimes I wish the universe wsould do it for me..
I feel sick. I feel like throwing up, I dont know if I can deal with this. i just want to die.I hate it. I swear it took only weeks from when he told me he loved me for him to love someone else more. I have always, I know it, been secondary in his affections. I can't take tht. I can't. I wish to gods I had never fallen in love. I can't ever allow myself to do it agian. I want to jusst sleep and never wake up.
WHy does this happen? Why does it always happen? Why? Why? Why? I wish I could just feel hate and not love for him, I wish I didn't feel like it was all my fault. I wish I didn't think that breaking up with him is my only option. I don't want to do that. I don't want to want it. I'm so fucking scared right now. I almost wish I had died the night he said he loved me so none of this would ever have happened. I wish I had died at that last moment of haoppiness. I won't ever kill myself, but sometimes I wish the universe wsould do it for me..
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Date: 2004-02-28 06:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-28 06:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-28 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-28 06:57 pm (UTC)Jesus, Laura, please talk to me.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-28 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-28 07:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-28 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-29 01:46 am (UTC)*many many hugs*