(no subject)

[badseed1980]

Dear subconscious:

Yes, I know I'm currently on the emotionally fragile, delicate side. I know I'm not at my most secure and confident right now. I know that I've got a lot of fears, particularly about my romantic life. I realize this. You do not have to remind me or poke me about it by giving me dreams about things that scare me on an emotional level. I'd prefer the spiders. With dreams about spiders, I can wake up from them with a yelp, realize nothing's crawling on me, and be happy in the knowledge that it was just a dream. With this shit, I just stay in a sort of anxiety-filled state afterward. It's much harder to banish from my mind than spiders are, even when the dreams are indistinct or hard to remember exactly. Also, it makes other fears even stronger and more distressing.

Tell you what: let's make a deal. I'll watch some of my new Torchwood Season 2 tonight, and give you lots of nice imagery, and you keep it on file for future dreams, ok? Dreams about Captain Jack Harkness being his usual charming and sexy self would be far nicer than the stuff you've been serving up lately, for both of us. Am I right?

Comments

[elissa-carey.livejournal.com]

*hug* It's Mabon.

[she-of-emeralds.livejournal.com]

It *is* Mabon.

Captain Jack. Yum.

[moon-ferret.livejournal.com]

I dunno. I watching Season Two of Torchwood right now and I kinda want to put a gun in my mouth. It is about the saddest...lord depressing... I was trying to get away from the fact that I cried during Bones, Season One and I picked TW Season 2. Not real bright on my side.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

But there's eye candy, at least! And the problems of imaginary people are better than mine. :)

[moon-ferret.livejournal.com]

Yes, I have Owen and Ianto and Jack. YAY! At least I have pretty to look at while they try to depress the hell out of me.

And sadly, this is the only Jack icon I have uploaded.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

This is my fave. :)

[perseph12.livejournal.com]

*Comforting hugs*

It's interesting how we can be our own worst enemies, y'know? We know our worst fears, and we know just how to pluck them to create the most strife.

I hope you have plenty of opportunity to do activities that make you happy. I'm drinking coffee and reading the Sunday paper, but my brain is still whirling like a dervish.

[vieux-yeux.livejournal.com]

I hear ya, sister.

[paigemom.livejournal.com]

I'm with you. I'd love to stop dreaming about my father -- back before the dementia took "him" away.

Actually, I'd love to stop sobbing in the shower after dreaming about my father.

This has been a tough Mabon.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[dbmyrrha.livejournal.com]

I agree with Rhomylly. The Hunt seems to have arrived early this year, bringing with it a lot od scary dreams and visions, filled with deep psychological crap people have been happily keepinmg held back for...who knows how long..., and pushing it to the forefront.

I'm sorry you've had bad dreams, my friend. Here's to swift resolution of your fears and deep insights to healing as the New Year approaches.

*hugs* and may your harvest be blessed.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Oh, this crap has never been background, and it's no deep insight. It's been like, "Well, duh, yes, I worry about this all the time. I don't need to worry about it while I'm asleep, too!" I think it's mostly just intensified by recent stresses.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

I've never been one to have a strong reaction to the Hunt, really: not energies with which I have a close connection.

[paigemom.livejournal.com]

Lucky you. The head of the Wild Hunt is my patron.

[tigira.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's hit me this season, too. For F's first and second autumn, I think something hormonal shielded me from it - perhaps it was that I was nursing through it both times.

Last year was smooth.
This year is hard. Really hard. When I first felt the rushing, I tried to convince myself it was too early. Nope. I was wrong - and my dreams have reflected it.

[dbmyrrha.livejournal.com]

Well, I wasn't being literal. I've just found that many people find there's an emotional turn (occasionally inward, often deeper and/or darker) that occurs in the fall. It doesn't just happen with magical types. Many bi-polar people, for example, find they have episodes which intensify in the fall.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I DO know people who are strongly affected by the Hunt, and who feel the call to it, and that makes this time of year pretty wacky for them. I'm not one of them, but I assumed that's what you meant.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Eh, I don't know that being strong makes feeling pain any more pleasant when it happens.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Well, if "strong" means I can get up again after getting knocked over, yeah, but that doesn't make it any more fun when it happens.

[tigira.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Is there anything I can do?

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

No, hon, but thanks. I just think that the stresses I've been under lately for various reasons have made my groundless paranoia type fears more prevalent and harder to combat mentally. I hope it will soon pass.

[miss-lisa-ma.livejournal.com]

Hey, subconscious. Stop that! No spiders, no insecurities. (Is this weirdness in the pollen or something? It's been going around, hitting person after person after person. Wishing you psychic Benadryl!)

[sororbabylon.livejournal.com]

All I can do is, like a broken record, tell you over and over again that you are beautiful.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Thanks, dear. I'm fine with that. That's not what's bugging me. But it's lovely of you to say it still.

[chaos-current.livejournal.com]

I HAD A SEX DREAM ABOUT YOU, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ONE ABOUT ME?

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

I DON'T KNOW! :(