Big ol' yay.
Nov. 15th, 2008 07:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badseed1980Some things just put a big smile on your face, you know?
Today, I randomly got an e-card from my oldest friend and first lover, RM. You remember him, right,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
creidh? I think that of all my friends here on LJ, you're the only one who's ever met him. Anyway. We dated on and off for five years, from the time I was 14 until the time I was 19. When I was 19, studying abroad in Ireland, I got an e-mail from him one day in November after not hearing from him for the previous two months. The e-mail said he'd gotten married. I remember my heart started pounding, as though I was having a panic attack. But just when I thought that wave was about to crash over me and sink me in the worst depression of my life, I realized I was riding the wave. I was actually ok with what had happened. Looking back, the boy had more issues than National Geographic, so I realized it was for the best. He was angsty, spiritually unsettled, and unhappy in himself.
Well, time passed. Eventually, quite a while later, R confided to me that he was still in love with me. He even tried to kiss me at one point, six years ago. I let him know that my feelings towards him had changed and that wasn't an option anymore, but we continued to be friends. Still, every time I spoke to him, those same issues were there. He was still unsatisfied with his life, and angsty as hell. He would write to me and say hello, merry Christmas, etc. But when I wrote back a long, chatty e-mail telling him what was new with my life, and asking what was new with his, he wouldn't respond.
Still, when I got the "hi, how are you" e-card today, I sent him a long, chatty e-mail and asked what was going on with him. To my astonishment, I got a long, chatty e-mail right back! He's still married, four kids, dogs, a house (he'd had two, but sold one), a good job, an education...and between the lines of his letter, I could see a more complete, content, centered person than he'd ever been before. I think I actually said out loud, "YES! It's about f***ing time! You GOT there!"
So. R sounds well-adjusted and happy now. Man, this is SO great. I just hope that eventually, I get the chance to sit down and have a drink with him, maybe see some pictures of those kids, and tell him face-to-face how proud I am of him for getting this far in life.
I guess now all that remains is to see if the married-with-kids minister-to-be (yeah, he's going to be a minister!) can still dig the polyamorous priestess as well as we used to dig one another, given the differences in our paths. I think so. I have faith in my friend's open mind. I'm so excited. This is yet another indicator among many, to me, that my life is entering an entirely new chapter. It's a chapter I'm liking very much, so far.
Today, I randomly got an e-card from my oldest friend and first lover, RM. You remember him, right,
creidh? I think that of all my friends here on LJ, you're the only one who's ever met him. Anyway. We dated on and off for five years, from the time I was 14 until the time I was 19. When I was 19, studying abroad in Ireland, I got an e-mail from him one day in November after not hearing from him for the previous two months. The e-mail said he'd gotten married. I remember my heart started pounding, as though I was having a panic attack. But just when I thought that wave was about to crash over me and sink me in the worst depression of my life, I realized I was riding the wave. I was actually ok with what had happened. Looking back, the boy had more issues than National Geographic, so I realized it was for the best. He was angsty, spiritually unsettled, and unhappy in himself.Well, time passed. Eventually, quite a while later, R confided to me that he was still in love with me. He even tried to kiss me at one point, six years ago. I let him know that my feelings towards him had changed and that wasn't an option anymore, but we continued to be friends. Still, every time I spoke to him, those same issues were there. He was still unsatisfied with his life, and angsty as hell. He would write to me and say hello, merry Christmas, etc. But when I wrote back a long, chatty e-mail telling him what was new with my life, and asking what was new with his, he wouldn't respond.
Still, when I got the "hi, how are you" e-card today, I sent him a long, chatty e-mail and asked what was going on with him. To my astonishment, I got a long, chatty e-mail right back! He's still married, four kids, dogs, a house (he'd had two, but sold one), a good job, an education...and between the lines of his letter, I could see a more complete, content, centered person than he'd ever been before. I think I actually said out loud, "YES! It's about f***ing time! You GOT there!"
So. R sounds well-adjusted and happy now. Man, this is SO great. I just hope that eventually, I get the chance to sit down and have a drink with him, maybe see some pictures of those kids, and tell him face-to-face how proud I am of him for getting this far in life.
I guess now all that remains is to see if the married-with-kids minister-to-be (yeah, he's going to be a minister!) can still dig the polyamorous priestess as well as we used to dig one another, given the differences in our paths. I think so. I have faith in my friend's open mind. I'm so excited. This is yet another indicator among many, to me, that my life is entering an entirely new chapter. It's a chapter I'm liking very much, so far.
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no subject
Date: 2008-11-16 03:23 am (UTC)I am totally stealing this line.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-16 11:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-16 12:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-17 02:37 am (UTC)Oh hey--I finally saw Highlander today. You always liked that one, right?
no subject
Date: 2008-11-17 01:45 pm (UTC)