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badseed1980So, on my Facebook, I posted that I was declaring today to be Do Something That Intimidates You Day. The two things that I did were:
* Inquired about a belly dance class with a teacher whose reputation I find intimidating, who teaches classes in a style with which I am not that familiar or comfortable. They're beginner classes, but it's a step! They start Thursday, so I hope she gets back to me with information on signing up and fees soon. If not, I'll just show up at Green Street Studios on Thursday with my checkbook and dance bag, and hope for the best.
* Wrote a FB message to my former karate instructor, Sensei Kim.
Well, it's been over ten years since I saw her. She has undoubtedly had a whole lot of students since then, and I wasn't even sure she'd remember me. If she did, I wasn't sure she'd attach much significance to the idea of getting back in touch. See, Sensei Kim was, for me, kind of a second mother. At a time when my own mom was somewhat distracted by problems in her marriage and by my sister the wild child, Sensei Kim was teaching me one of the things that had a huge impact on my growing to adulthood. I absolutely idolized her. I wrote about her here.
Now, I don't know why it had never occurred to me to look her up on Facebook. But I did it last night, and found her. I went to send her a message--and stopped. I had to do some navel-gazing to find out why I was so intimidated. I finally realized the reason. I was afraid that if I found out that she didn't remember me, or didn't really seem to care about getting back in touch, that would dim my memories of that period in my life, and make me distance myself from them, so that it wouldn't hurt as much that our mentor/student relationship wasn't as meaningful to her as it was to me. I was afraid that I'd lose something cherished by burying it.
But today, I said, "the hell with it. If she doesn't remember or doesn't care, I will just have to fight that tendency of mine, and keep reminding myself that the present doesn't change the past."
So, intimidating or not, I wrote her a message this morning, reminding her of who I was and offering my e-mail to contact me. Less than an hour later, I got an e-mail from her with the subject line, "LAURA!!!!!!!!!!!" That put a huge smile on my face. So did the fact that she went on to say she'd thought of me often and wondered how I was doing. So now, I'm going to write back and fill her in on everything, and see what it's like to interact with my adolescent role model as a grownup. :)
Yeah, I'm happy!
* Inquired about a belly dance class with a teacher whose reputation I find intimidating, who teaches classes in a style with which I am not that familiar or comfortable. They're beginner classes, but it's a step! They start Thursday, so I hope she gets back to me with information on signing up and fees soon. If not, I'll just show up at Green Street Studios on Thursday with my checkbook and dance bag, and hope for the best.
* Wrote a FB message to my former karate instructor, Sensei Kim.
Well, it's been over ten years since I saw her. She has undoubtedly had a whole lot of students since then, and I wasn't even sure she'd remember me. If she did, I wasn't sure she'd attach much significance to the idea of getting back in touch. See, Sensei Kim was, for me, kind of a second mother. At a time when my own mom was somewhat distracted by problems in her marriage and by my sister the wild child, Sensei Kim was teaching me one of the things that had a huge impact on my growing to adulthood. I absolutely idolized her. I wrote about her here.
Now, I don't know why it had never occurred to me to look her up on Facebook. But I did it last night, and found her. I went to send her a message--and stopped. I had to do some navel-gazing to find out why I was so intimidated. I finally realized the reason. I was afraid that if I found out that she didn't remember me, or didn't really seem to care about getting back in touch, that would dim my memories of that period in my life, and make me distance myself from them, so that it wouldn't hurt as much that our mentor/student relationship wasn't as meaningful to her as it was to me. I was afraid that I'd lose something cherished by burying it.
But today, I said, "the hell with it. If she doesn't remember or doesn't care, I will just have to fight that tendency of mine, and keep reminding myself that the present doesn't change the past."
So, intimidating or not, I wrote her a message this morning, reminding her of who I was and offering my e-mail to contact me. Less than an hour later, I got an e-mail from her with the subject line, "LAURA!!!!!!!!!!!" That put a huge smile on my face. So did the fact that she went on to say she'd thought of me often and wondered how I was doing. So now, I'm going to write back and fill her in on everything, and see what it's like to interact with my adolescent role model as a grownup. :)
Yeah, I'm happy!
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mazal tov on doing scary things
Date: 2010-09-14 02:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-14 05:44 pm (UTC)How did the Shadia classes go?
no subject
Date: 2010-09-14 05:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-14 05:51 pm (UTC)You got that right. And why am I not surprised that she (a) remembered you, (b) thought of you often and (c) was happy to hear from you? :-)
no subject
Date: 2010-09-14 05:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-15 12:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-15 11:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-16 05:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-16 05:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-16 11:08 pm (UTC)