Pros and cons

[badseed1980]

Bad stuff:

1. My friend Mike and I aren't doing too well. The normal platonic stuff is just fine with me, but I'm starting to think I don't want anything more than that. I told him that as nicely as I could, and let him know that it's nothing wrong he's doing, just what I feel to be a lack of chemistry. This, in turn, is making him want to spend some time apart. I personally would rather have spent time together so we could talk, and I could get a better idea of how I want to proceed. But that's not happening, which means that any decision I make has to be put off. I don't like leaving people hanging with stuff like this. I want to be able to say, "Let's give it some time because I think things are going to get better," or "I think we'd do better as just platonic friends." *sigh*

2. I'm tired as fuck. Up until 12:30 Sunday night, up until 1:00 last night. I want to go back to bed. Or at least I want my ephedra to kick in.


Good stuff:
1. Had a wonderful night last night, with nummy food, tasty wine, and an opportunity to dance for people, showing off my new solo as well as my wine-fuzzy, tired mind could remember it. Lots of sinister plotting as well. :)

2. COFFEE AND EPHEDRA!!!!!

3. Great weather again. I like wearing short sleeves. And jeans, since the boss is out of the office. W00t!

Comments

[tisana.livejournal.com]

"My friend Mike and I aren't doing too well."

Urf. Sorry to hear that. I'm still not getting how to have other relationships, and if I want them, or how to go about saying what I do want when things are odd. So I'd say you're a step or two ahead of me, there. I understand the "I want to deal with this NOW" urge, though.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Well, what I want in other relationships is pretty clear to me. I say, "I don't ask for more than friends with benefits, with the flirtation and occasional sweetness such a relationship can offer." I don't think I'm likely to fall in love with anyone else, though I do care very much about the people I date as friends. Knowing I'm NOT looking for more than that makes it easier for me, somehow. I don't need as much from a relationship.

Honestly, I often do think my life would be a lot easier if I were in a monogamous relationship. I wouldn't really miss having sex with other people, and I could still have many friends of the opposite sex with whom I'd do no more than flirt harmlessly, without any intent to go further. But I feel like if I'm going to be in the relationship I'm in, I need to feel like I'm something a little more than just a buddy to someone besides Morgan. I was actually desperate to start seeing someone else when he told me he was in love with you, because I felt like everything was so one-sided. It's hard to explain, but I don't think it's hard to understand.
So to be honest, I DON'T want another boyfriend. If I fall hard for someone else, that may change. But right now, I'm happy to keep things as simple as possible. I have a couple of close friends, people who I really like and care about, and who I'll be friends with for a long time no matter what else happens. We have a good time together. But that's all. And it's simple. And it's all I ever really wanted out of this kind of a relationship, and all I expected. Right now, it helps make the rest of it a little bit easier sometimes.

Coffee and Ephedra?

[dee-cee.livejournal.com]

Re: Coffee and Ephedra?

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Well, I was having my morning coffee, and decided that just wouldn't be enough to make me a functional person today, so I swallowed a couple ephedra tablets (one dose) with the coffee. Now I am quite perky. :D

[wolf-kells.livejournal.com]

UGH. It's tough when your way of dealing with something is to talk it out, and the other person's way of dealing with something is to have some quiet time to absorb what you've said.

*hugs*

Hope things work out for the best, whatever that may be.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Thanks :)

We did at least start to talk it out the last time I saw him. But I think that when I told him I was feeling less comfortable with the physical stuff, he freaked a little bit. I won't go into all of it, because it gets personal on his side, but he was having a few issues with that too.